the tests can't be started until we get the ok from your insurance

I am so frustrated today. I just called Johns Hopkins to check on the tests they are performing on our lil guy. I almost fell off my chair when she said " the tests can't be started until we get the ok from your insurance." You see, that's why I hate making any calls. They never bring good news anymore. Nick was sensible about it when I told him and reminded me that the test outcome isn't that important. We are going to carry the baby to term and trust that God's will be done. I just long for hope. Some days I have so little to begin with and then things like this feel like a major setback. Even if the tests are negative for the lethal forms of skeletal dysplasia they are testing for, there are many other lethal and non lethal forms that they aren't testing for. I feel like driving to Johns Hopkins and slapping cash down and saying "now please start the testing!" Howwever, my car isn't in great shape, I have no idea where John Hopkins is, and I don't have the money.. LOL How's that for being helpless. I think there must be some grateness in being totally helpless. I know there is, I just can't feel it right now ;-) thanks for reading and I feel a little better after venting!